Being a Bonus Mom

I consider myself lucky to have a step mom. She came into my life when I was eleven or twelve and I didnt feel grateful for her at first. But I grew to see that she loved me like I was her own, worked hard to help me achieve what I needed to and was always there for me. She wasn’t ever trying to replace my mom but she was an extra mom. A bonus mom.

I got lucky and I got two mom’s. Two women to learn from and who love me unconditionally. I didn’t ever think I’d get that opportunity in my life but we all know that Heavenly Father has his plans for us that we can’t see.

I knew when I met my now-fiance that he had two little children and that knowledge never made me pause. I love kids and have spent lots of time in my life caring for children. I didn’t feel out of my comfort zone when I first met them or as I continued to spend more time with them.

But being a bonus mom is different than I thought it would be. It’s wonderful but it’s hard.

It’s been a transition to step into a parental role. It still is a transition. The kids have a mother who loves them and is involved in their lives. They know I’m not their mom and I’m not trying to be. I’m going to be their step-mom. But I like to say bonus mom.

The kids and I love each other but they are still kids and there is still some resistance to me being an authority figure. We’re all still adjusting to me being in charge when Daddy isn’t in the room or home.

My fiance has the kids every weekend which means all of my days off are spent taking care of others and not necessarily doing what I want. That’s been an adjustment for me – big time but my Bonus Mom said something to me the other day that helped me put it in perspective.

 Its about the kids. It’s about helping them and teaching them. Being a parent is a selfless act and is constant. I could say that I knew that before going in to this but it’s different to really live it.

 So, I’m taking it day by day and thankful I have an awesome man to stand beside me and help me everyday!

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